February 2010
2 posts
3 tags
molly: duuude - some homeless guy tried to get all up in Joe Biden's business at the Olympics.
mel: yeah, with a homemade security pass.
mel: we've gone over this before, but I think this is a great time to start looking at hiring new security people for the White House
molly: I couldn't get a forged doctor's note past my seventh grade homeroom teacher, but Sneaky Pete makes an ID out of construction paper and spit, and almost gets to sit in Joey B's lap?
mel: if you could sit in any government official's lap, who would it be?
molly: well it would have been teddy kennedy
molly: RIP
molly: but if not him, I think Biden would have a real Old Spice vibe that I could get on board for
mel: I don't think nancy pelosi would be terribly cozy, but if I got that close, I could confirm whether her eyes roll back in her head like a shark.
molly: would you wear your chum sweater?
mel: naturally.
3 tags
molly: is it weird to hope that barry will issue some sort of executive order to make john mayer stop saying stupid shit?
mel: the technology needed for that order could easily bankrupt the country.
mel: how would we combat all of his sexual napalm?
molly: okay, let's figure out a way to regulate it
mel: we get Warren G and Nate Dogg to revoke his hood pass?
molly: no, like tax it.
molly: every time he says something stupid, he gets taxed.
mel: like a swear jar, but interest-bearing
molly: exactly
mel: you know that he'll just pass on those costs to the consumer
molly: whatevs. just 'cause I have your body is a wonderland on my iPod doesn't mean I paid for it, y'know?
mel: you have your body is a wonderland on your iPod?
molly: it's like getting a mani/pedi for your earballs.