January 2009
9 posts
mel: off topic alert, but is it weird that I'm already picturing Blagojevich in various scenes I remember from Oz?
molly: is it the gang rape scenes?
molly: if so, then yes.
mel: okay, fine. i'll picture him as blair from the facts of life.
mel: that show was about a woman's prison, right?
molly: not at all.
mel: it was a METAPHORICAL prison, molly.
mel: and i'm pretty sure blair was jo's bitch.
mel: did you hear that it looks like zoos are going to get shut out of the stimulus package?
molly: are the polar bears going to get loose and rampage through the streets?
mel: it's cool. BEARACK Obama speaks their language and will CHILL them out.
molly: we're not friends anymore.
molly: For the record, I thought that drum major winking and nodding at Barry was a really tender moment.
molly: It's a shame he felt he had to resign.
mel: Are you kidding me? That was totally unprofessional.
molly: More unprofessional than using your bosses' credit card for the down payment on your alpaca farm?
mel: I think it's unfair for you to mention that right now.
mel: i like that obama's playing with the big stick.
mel: saying "i won" to those whinging republicans is a boss move.
molly: what if you were playing a video game that you'd been playing for like a week
molly: and you got to the last level, and the boss you have to shoot is obama?
molly: could you do it?
mel: dude. patriot act. right now, some secret service people are on their way to your apartment to arrest you for saying "shoot" and "obama" in the same sentence.
mel: nice knowing you.
molly: but you did it too.
mel: i got a plan. i'm just going to show them the awesome Mii I made for obama. we'll play some tennis and it'll be cool.
mel: so it looks like obama might have to nationalize the banks
molly: like take 'em over?
mel: yup
molly: will he get rid of ATM fees? i bet 'Rack hates him some ATM fees. 'cause I sure do.
mel: do you actually have money to take out of an ATM that would incur said fees?
molly: i'm gonna nationalize your FACE
molly: (that'll be two bucks plz.)
molly: How about all this stimulus package junk? It's like, I could use a stimulus package for my junk, but I don't get what that has to do with solar-powered homeless people bathrooms in Santa Monica.
molly: I was doing a few different bits there. I don't know if you got that.
mel: i got it.
molly: one of them wasn't really a bit.
mel: right. got it.
molly: I was making a joke about the beach bathrooms California wants to buy with their money.
mel: yeah, I knew what you meant.
molly: The other thing was a joke about how junk can be a synonym for general stuff or private parts.
mel: right.
molly: Oh! And like, stimulus package, that was a play on words. So I guess it's like two and a half bits total.
mel: yep.
molly: Or like, two bits and something kind of rude about alternative energy.
mel: Delete my screen name.
molly: i feel really bad that Obama has to give up his African-Americanberry.
mel: no, he's getting to keep it. also, don't you mean his Barackberry?
molly: ugh.
mel: Or his Funded by the CIA Inner City Drug War-Berry?
mel: Or his Blackbeauty?
molly: wait. like the horse?
mel: like the amphetamines.
molly: you're insensitive to the problems of others. also, you don't really know anything about drugs.
mel: fuck you. I'm watching the 2nd season of The Wire. i am DOWN.
mel: i feel safe with obama. it's like he's our dad and we're riding all snuggles in that baby seat on the back of the bicycle.
molly: didn't you hear the speech? that's what's wrong with the country! we're not taking responsibility for ourselves. we can't just let him drive the bike and sit in the back all snuggles anymore! it's time for us to drive the bike!
mel: but all snuggles is pretty great. especially if we had a little hat on.
molly: yeah.
mel: yeah.
molly: i want to have babies and name them malia and sasha.
mel: having babies will make your vagina all handbag-y.
molly: will my boyfriend john mayer still think my body is a wonderland?
mel: ...
mel: yes. yes, he will.